Little people, Little Victories

      Hard to believe Cora is 3 weeks old today! Harder still to think back that this originally was the date we were going to try to stay pregnant until but alas, God had other plans. She is in a pretty steady and slow progression and really can't make much bigger steps until she develops more. Thinking about this period as the completion of her gestation helps with perspective. There's simply baby things she can't do because she wouldn't need to do them normally at 34 weeks! (Like eating). As such, she is slowly gaining weight and using a fairly low amount of oxygen to help fill and expand her lungs but she is doing most of the work there. She is getting all of her nutrition by fortified milk via a tube nose to tummy and doing pretty well with it, though still experiencing reflux regularly.  

Highlights:

It has been sweet to see her open her eyes more. Especially for momma, when I touch and talk to her, I always get a peep. 

She is now 3#13oz, making slow but steady progress towards her goal of 5-6# before discharge. (PS I can't even imagine having a baby that small at home...)

Her lips- precious little bow that looks so much like big sis Aria when she was born. Her fuzzy little auburn hair, that puffs in all directions after a washing. 

She is strong enough to regulate her temperature now with an open isolette so much more access to her when we visit. Next step- open crib!

   Aria on her mommy/daughter date- 1st time holding her sis!

Prayers:

+ The doctors have reminded us they will always be watching for complications with a baby born this early who had a rough entry like she did. Obviously, considering that we may have many bumps in the road to come, or that she could have lifelong disabilities or complications is very anxiety-producing. But we pray that we can daily offer those fears to Him who loves our child more than we ever could as He comforts us and reminds us that whatever He asks us to endure, He will provide for, as He always has. Pray that she does develop without complications and that we take one day at a time in her progress without getting overwhelmed about an uncertain future.  

    "Therefore since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let's hold firmly to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses but One who has been tempted in all things just as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy & find grace for help at the time of our need."    Hebrews 4:14-16 (NASB)

"While Jesus was here on earth, he offered up prayers & pleadings with a loud cry & tears, to the One who could rescue Him from death. And God heard His prayers because of HIs deep reverence for God. Even though Jesus was God's Son, he learned obedience from the things He suffered. In this way, God qualified Him as a perfect High Priest, & He became the source of eternal salvation for all those who obey Him." Hebrews 5: 7-9 (NLT)

   "...Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author & perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, & has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary & lose heart."  Hebrews 12:2-3 (NIV)

" Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us". Romans 5:3-5

      These passages remind me that there's no struggle I could encounter that Jesus doesn't/can't actually sympathize with- that He truly called out to God in the garden in the hours before He went to the cross with the anguish over what He knew He was about to go through to bear the judgement of the sin of all those who would put their trust in Him. Even knowing the purpose of His suffering, He too cried out for relief sinlessly.                                                                                                                                                     Far from sinlessly, do I often pray for relief from what's hard in my life, but I trust: 1) He has very specific purpose in every trial He allows us to undergo, 2) the priceless conquering of fears that continue holding  power in our lives, IF He does not overcome them by allowing us to experience and conquer them to some extent, through his power supplied in the midst of them, 3) His love for me never wanes when I'm suffering, just as it never could've for Jesus, His own Son, & 4) the comfort of Jesus walking through the day in, day out struggle of uncertainty.

Now, I know some reading this are probably confused by this explanation, so let me say before anyone accuses me of being overly pious, inauthentic, or the like- We have had many hard days. Sometimes peace lasts hours before another waves feels like it's crashing down on us when you afce so much powerlessness, physical weakness, sense of loss, and fear of the future. But His mercies are new and comes from HIs promises and who Jesus IS, outside of us, never from within us. So, if this sounds abstract or foreign, friend, I hope you will question who Jesus is. Certainly, one reason we're facing this is that those who observe it might see Jesus clearly as He works in and around our lives. There's no other salvation and no other real peace than belonging to Him. ("Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to (ALL) mankind by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12  [emphasis added] ) 

Back to prayers.....

+ Prayer that she can improve her handling of her feeds. She often struggles to both digest and breathe together and these can make for some scary, though not unexpected moments. Prayers for weight gain.

+ Prayers for continued wise and compassionate parenting of our 3 at home. They are such a delight and gift during this season. 

+ Prayers for continued lung development. 

+ Pray for continued witness to our awesome team at Children's Hospital.

PRAISE. So thankful for continued meal support. My recovery has been smoother than I'd hoped but still so much harder than a natural delivery and sometimes I'm more tired & uncomfortable than I wish by day's end...but always starving. So thankful for solid nutrition to keep us all going.

PRAISE. We've been so blessed by all who stepped in (my own mom just left this last week and blessed us "bigly":) with her willingness to fill in any little gap in the daily family needs -Thanks big momma!) Buuuut, we are really enjoying now a feeling of normalcy just as a family unit. It's so healing to get to take care of my girls even though I can't yet carry, run, or toss them- We are so grateful for God's little gifts. Colin's taking great care of me, and dare I say will get to enjoy his paternity leave too. 

meeting Mimi

 Family outing : Glen Eyrie

Until Next week. Thank you for your presence in this chapter of our lives! It's no coincidence.