Through the Valley


           Cora is officially a month old. These last 2 weeks have been the hardest stretch yet though and we find ourselves at a shift in our expectations & prayers. Her medical team has been a bit more overt about expressing their concerns for a lack of typical progress. While there are several things Cora is exhibiting that are standard for a premature newborns of her age, there are a few that are behind and concerning for possible future disabilities. As I've mentioned before, her breathing & eating abilities are her main areas needing help like most preterm babies. However, the area where she struggles- with her gag/swallowing reflex- is abnormal for her age & time since birth. Basically, the lack of it keeps her needing higher amounts of oxygen & will keep her from eating on her own by mouth as long as it remains an issue. Her team has been honest in saying they have seen this issue resolve in some babies, but for many it means there will be some measure of long term disability in the future we need to be prepared for. 
Obviously, it's hard enough to have a baby struggling through the challenges of being fairly early, but the idea that your child may face more future suffering and just the terrible uncertainty of it all has been nearly overwhelming for us. Colin & I have wept & wrestled & asked God why many times and yet are at a place of hoping for her full recovery, praying for daily strength, doing all we can to aid in her development, & endeavoring to surrender to her good Heavenly Father- knowing that whatever future He has planned, He will provide for. 
            I will say, now that she's a month old, we've spent more hours with her than any single nurse and feel we are "getting to know" her best and be able to evaluate changes. We're grateful to see her doing some small but promising things a 35 week baby should do, like opening her eyes more, turning to sound, raising her head, or placing her hands to her mouth. We continue to adore her precious feet, her ample auburn hair, and cupid's bow lips. 
           

Prayers:
    + PRAISE: We prayed specifically that she'd start gaining weight again after 2 weeks stalled, & this week she's up to almost 4.5#. Pray this keeps on going!

So grateful we're getting into a bit of a rhythm being with her each day and getting time weekly to go there together. 

- Prayer for her nerve/muscle pathways to develop and to show more signs of strength including swallowing/gagging ability. With this, pray that she continues to tolerate tube feedings and can wean how much oxygen she needs. Pray for a miracle.

-  Pray for her to regulate her heartbeat & breathing.  

- Prayer for my stamina to continue to be able to pump for the foreseeable future so that I can provide good nutrition for her. 

Once again, we are so thankful for the outpouring of everyone's love, prayer, & cares. We love you.


Snuggled up in blankets from home...those lips!

Gaining weight in her happiest spot. 

baby stretches



one sunny day of snuggles. 
Bathtime
a little big sister







 

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