God's Perfect Timing

             This weekend will mark Cora's due date! It's hard to believe I'd still be pregnant with her as I'm through my recovery now and she's been completing her gestation at a home away from home in what has felt like much longer than 2 months.

 One of the hardest things has been to let go and trust God with her care by way of lots of medical staff and others who wouldn't even know her yet if things had progressed normally. And yet, our Lord knew  the exact plan to unfold, and though I get overwhelmed thinking about what may still be to come, I think He's perfectly timed the knowledge He has allowed us to have to keep us pressing into Him.

 Being a good & perfect Father through & through, He knows exactly how much we can bear & what we need to draw us into the whole purpose of life  -  relationship with Him. Through grief and physical pain, destabilization in our family, loss of control, fear for our daughter's life & future, feeling insufficient for her needs, we've cried out to God who promises His goodness and faithfulness...and found Him more than enough. As all pain in life is meant to do, He has allowed us to face weaknesses, fears, and lack of faith at times, to ask our questions, and we can say with all our heart, He has proved His faithfulness & glory as an all-powerful God and Jesus, the friend of sinners. In one conversation our oldest, Aria, she had the honesty to ask, "why does sin in the world have to make Cora sick?", and what ensued was a perfect Gospel conversation, when I got to explain to her (& remind myself), "never think that 'things just happen' or that God just 'makes the most' out of broken situations. That is a terrible small view of God". "Think about Jesus on the cross", I told her, "God planned the worst thing ever to accomplish the most glorious end, & what brokenness He allows in the world, even that which hurts us, He uses to bring the best outcome of being closer to Him and seeing that He is Lord over everything"...or something like that adapted to 4 yo language :)

It makes me think of John 9 I read a bit back when Jesus heals the man born blind. "... His disciples asked Him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or His parents, that he would be born blind?" Jesus answered, 'It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but so that the works of God might be displayed in him." (vv2-3). 

   We can so often ask why, or sometimes dare not even, and there's our answer. If Jesus sounds selfish to allow us pain to let us reach and find Him, then we don't really know Jesus as our living Lord who at this moment sits in heaven and is accessible in relationship by the Holy Spirit. Knowing Him is the fullness of life and He alone (1 Timothy 2:5) is the Way, the Truth, & the Life (John 14:6), without whom no one can atone for their sin (Acts 4:12) or escape the rightful judgement of Hell. (Romans 3:23, 2:12)

              But I'm sure there's some interest in updates on Cora specifically and how God is working in her life. Well, Cora has nearly doubled her birthweight at 6# now- no easy feat! We have printed a photo & placed it on her bed to remind the nurses who work on her behalf as well as ourselves, of how far she's come. As far as some of the specific prayer requests, she has shown some improvement in her muscle tone/flexion, and for sure has a gag reflex now with good presence of coughing and attempts to clear her airway. She still struggles with this though, and still loses oxygenation intermittently. Overall though, these instances have decreased in frequency & severity and she shows more effort to help herself in them. A huge win! A big one we're still praying for is suck/swallow, that she could eat by mouth, and we've had a couple experienced nurses who believe that she's showing some preliminary signs of suck which could be a step in the right direction. I work with her at every visit now to help her learn and strengthen her skills and I do see slight progress. 

       Second huge praise- her genetic testing has so far come back negative! The neurologic and genetics team were suspicious of 2 possible neuromuscular conditions specifically, and both are negative! Back to God allowing us just the knowledge we need to face our fears to and walk in dependence on Him- As we considered the possibility of a life-limiting or life-altering diagnosis like these were, we've wrestled & surrendered in peace to His ability to make us able to bear & provide for her, & create a full & meaningful life and family, even if shortened or affected by disease. We are nevertheless rejoicing that she is negative. Which takes me to..

Prayers....

+  We know we are not out of the woods yet. Even while we hope in time she will "outgrow" her issues, we have no idea if that will be days & weeks or months and years. Pray that we can have clear discernment when it comes to bringing her home with more accommodations vs keeping her longer in the NICU. 

    + Pray she gets stronger at clearing her airway and her episodes continue to improve.

   +  Pray she is able to develop a suck & swallow, and tolerates adjustments to her tube feedings that will allow her to have them at home if suck/swallow doesn't significantly improve in the next month. 

   + Pray she continues to gain weight, tone, & strength. 

   + Pray for our endurance, family life, wisdom, & rest in God, & our witness in the NICU, that each & all would hear of Jesus through us, & some would come to put their hope & trust in Him as Lord & Savior. 

Sunday snuggles 

 Lap naps

Indy practicing her baby skills 

Morning devotions in the sunshine 

                                                Zoo days with friends

 gaining those L. B.s!

    

1 Timothy 2:5"For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus,"

John 14:6"Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.7If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Acts 4:12

"Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.”

Romans 2:12-13

All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous."
  

Romans 3:22-25

22This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement..."